Thursday, May 18, 2017

'Tis the season...


Wedding season that is! Are you guys ready? I have a wedding this weekend and it's the first one of the year. This wedding has been in the works for more than a year and when I first knew of the date I thought wow that is so far from now, but like always time escapes us and before we know it the year has passed us by. I've been feeling so crummy that I'm really looking forward to this wedding. I'm looking forward to dressing up and getting glam. I've decided that even if I'm feeling crummy, I'm determined to have a good time! 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Teenagers



Why do teenagers think they're hot shit when they don't know shit? Maybe that question was a harsh way to start a post. Seriously though, teenagers want to be original and unique but fit in at the same time. Sometimes I wish I could knock some sense into the teenagers in my life and let them know that they're missing out on a lot of things because of their attitude. I know that being a teenager and making mistakes is part of life and growing up. I know, I know you learn from your mistakes. It's just that some mistakes can be very painful and tough. Some mistakes can be avoided.

After spending some time with some of the teenagers in my life, I realized its not entirely their fault. Lets face it, sometimes the parents are at fault. Sometimes I wish I could tell the parents that they're being stupid on how their raising their kids. That the path they are permitting their kids to continue on will probably lead to no good.  That the choices and actions as a parent, influence the lives of their kids and will probably effect them throughout their lives. Its crazy how an outsider can see all of this but the people in the middle of it can't.

p.s. This photograph is far from perfect and probably can't be fixed with editing but it reminds me of  the teenagers in my life. For reasons I can't explain, I sort of like the blurry haziness of it.  Anyway, just thought I would provide some insight of this photo.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Change



















When the year started I told myself I was not doing a new years resolution, I was going to be selfish and do one thing for myself every month. Its May now and I only did this 2 times. Lately I feel like I've done the opposite. I feel so overwhelmingly busy that I feel like I have no time for myself not even for my own personal grooming and I'm tired of it. I have been thinking of how tired I am and wondering how did things get to this point? I came to a realization. I got so caught up with working hard and staying busy to distract myself of the loss of my dad that I lost myself.  I sort of gave up on myself. I guess I felt this at the end of the year and that's why I felt like I had to at least do one thing for myself but still haven't mastered this plan of mine.  

The loss of my grandma helped me realize this. When she died, once again I felt like I had missed out a lot. I stopped frequent visits to avoid feeling sad and partially because I was really busy and didn't make time for her. I'm tired of it! I'm tired of working, I'm tired of being responsible for others, I'm tired of dealing with people, I'm tired of WORK!  I feel like I need change, I feel like I need a mental break. I want to wake up and exercise, go on a hike, eat a breakfast at my own pace and read  a newspaper. I want to take time to do my makeup. I want to learn how to sew. I want to spend an entire day with my mom. I want to do something fun with my sister. I want to go on a vacation with my husband. I want to do things that bring me joy. But how do I do it?