Finding Any Opportunity

I find it hard to pull out my big camera and take photographs since the birth of my daughter. It just seems like so much to carry.  Lately, I've been trying to take more pictures with my cell phone since an opportunity to photograph things with my camera seems almost impossible at this time. Today, I went to my very neglected back yard and followed a ladybug. She was  enjoying our very overgrown grass. I think I could have spent hours out there just following her every step. It’s amazing how you can find beauty anywhere, even in a very neglected back yard. 

Changed Opinions

I was planning of writing a post about the struggles of motherhood, but I didn’t want to sound like a Debbie Downer since my last post was about mourning.  I was at my moms house the other day and she had these beautiful Trader Joe's flowers, which got me thinking of Spring! Oh my Spring is around the corner and I’m not sure I am ready to let go of winter. I have been craving a rainy, cloudy day and I don’t know why.  This is a first for me. I generally enjoy summer and sunny days. So, I am quite surprised. I’ve been noticing in the past year or so I have been changing my thoughts and feelings towards a lot of things. Another example, I have disliked eggs my entire life. I’ve tried to eat them because of their nutritional value, but I never could. However, recently I think I can tolerate eggs. It’s the strangest thing. I’m really confused with myself. What other things will I like that I disliked before or vice versa? Is this me maturing? 

Our City is Mourning

I’ve been writing this post for about a week. I believe everyone has now moved on to the super bowl excitement and more importantly the half time show! But in all reality, I am still in a state of shock and sadness.  A celebrity death is always sad but distant to my personal feelings or life. However, the death of Kobe Bryant seemed a lot more personal. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, so Kobe Bryant was a local celebrity to me. He was a celebrity that brought our city so much pride. While I’ve never met Kobe, I saw him play in all his glory for many years. I am a Lakers fan. I am a Kobe fan. So, when the news of his death broke, I was in disbelief. I was heartbroken. How could this be? How is this fair? How is this possible? These are just some of the thoughts that were running through my mind while I tried to hold back the tears.

As the days went by, I struggled more and more to keep in the tears. I was in a constant state of having knot in my throat with the tears ready to come pouring down at any point. I felt a little silly and maybe even a little embarrassed to cry over a celebrity death. It was someone that I did not personally know, why should I feel so bad? As the week went on, I eventually had to let it out and I did. I was driving home from work listening to the radio and of course all the stations were talking about him and I finally let it all out. I cried and cried, and you know what? It felt good. Sometimes a good cry is just what you need.

I realized why his death affected me so much. I realized he was genuine hard worker at his craft, he was a dedicated father, he was a loving husband and he was a true role model. He had an entire chapter of his life left. We were robbed from a chapter of his life we will never know. We will never what lengths he would have reached.  Regardless of his celebrity status he was human, and he did so much for Los Angeles and for that I don’t feel any regrets for feeling the way I do.

Our city is heartbroken and will never forget the legacy he leaves behind. This past Saturday we went to pay our respects at the Staples Center, the house that Kobe built. These photographs are from our visit.