Quarantine 2020

I have lost track of time. I don't  remember how long we have been living this new way of life. I was fine in the beginning. This week I am struggling. I can't focus. I want to be out and about. I want my old life. I miss my old life. I want to enjoy my daughter, freely. I don't want to live in fear. I don't want her to grow up living in fear. I know this will take time to go away and for us to go back to our old lives, or maybe we will never go back to our old lives. But I hope we do. I will continue to be patient and will continue to find the silver lining in this, because I always tend to rely on those silver linings. 

Finding Any Opportunity

I find it hard to pull out my big camera and take photographs since the birth of my daughter. It just seems like so much to carry.  Lately, I've been trying to take more pictures with my cell phone since an opportunity to photograph things with my camera seems almost impossible at this time. Today, I went to my very neglected back yard and followed a ladybug. She was  enjoying our very overgrown grass. I think I could have spent hours out there just following her every step. It’s amazing how you can find beauty anywhere, even in a very neglected back yard. 

Changed Opinions

I was planning of writing a post about the struggles of motherhood, but I didn’t want to sound like a Debbie Downer since my last post was about mourning.  I was at my moms house the other day and she had these beautiful Trader Joe's flowers, which got me thinking of Spring! Oh my Spring is around the corner and I’m not sure I am ready to let go of winter. I have been craving a rainy, cloudy day and I don’t know why.  This is a first for me. I generally enjoy summer and sunny days. So, I am quite surprised. I’ve been noticing in the past year or so I have been changing my thoughts and feelings towards a lot of things. Another example, I have disliked eggs my entire life. I’ve tried to eat them because of their nutritional value, but I never could. However, recently I think I can tolerate eggs. It’s the strangest thing. I’m really confused with myself. What other things will I like that I disliked before or vice versa? Is this me maturing? 

Our City is Mourning

I’ve been writing this post for about a week. I believe everyone has now moved on to the super bowl excitement and more importantly the half time show! But in all reality, I am still in a state of shock and sadness.  A celebrity death is always sad but distant to my personal feelings or life. However, the death of Kobe Bryant seemed a lot more personal. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, so Kobe Bryant was a local celebrity to me. He was a celebrity that brought our city so much pride. While I’ve never met Kobe, I saw him play in all his glory for many years. I am a Lakers fan. I am a Kobe fan. So, when the news of his death broke, I was in disbelief. I was heartbroken. How could this be? How is this fair? How is this possible? These are just some of the thoughts that were running through my mind while I tried to hold back the tears.

As the days went by, I struggled more and more to keep in the tears. I was in a constant state of having knot in my throat with the tears ready to come pouring down at any point. I felt a little silly and maybe even a little embarrassed to cry over a celebrity death. It was someone that I did not personally know, why should I feel so bad? As the week went on, I eventually had to let it out and I did. I was driving home from work listening to the radio and of course all the stations were talking about him and I finally let it all out. I cried and cried, and you know what? It felt good. Sometimes a good cry is just what you need.

I realized why his death affected me so much. I realized he was genuine hard worker at his craft, he was a dedicated father, he was a loving husband and he was a true role model. He had an entire chapter of his life left. We were robbed from a chapter of his life we will never know. We will never what lengths he would have reached.  Regardless of his celebrity status he was human, and he did so much for Los Angeles and for that I don’t feel any regrets for feeling the way I do.

Our city is heartbroken and will never forget the legacy he leaves behind. This past Saturday we went to pay our respects at the Staples Center, the house that Kobe built. These photographs are from our visit. 

What Happened to "Me Time"?

After many months of not logging into my blogger account, I finally did so today. Last year I only published two post on this blog. Wow, probably the worst amateur blogger. I have an excuse! See in 2018, I had a baby girl. She is everything to my husband and I and we love her so much. But! Having a baby is so much work! She turned one in September and she walks and wants to discover everything. As a result, my house is a disaster every evening. My “me time” is out the window. I no longer have any time for myself. I still haven’t been able to balance mom life, work life, wife life and me time. It honestly feels like I will never have me time again until she probably becomes an adult. Okay, I know I am being dramatic, but it does feel like that sometimes. Becoming a mother was something I wanted and love, but I guess I just didn’t realize I would miss my time so much.

I want to start blogging or even posting on Instagram again this year, even if its little short post. What do you guys think? Is it something that is still viable? Does it even matter if its viable since I am not pursuing blogging for a monetary reason? I started this blog as a creative outlet, so I guess it doesn’t really matter if its viable. I guess I just need to start and maybe this can be considered a small version of me time. 

'Tis the Season

This year I have two people very close to me getting married. The first wedding is for my cousin which was in the works for the past 2 years. The second wedding is for my sister which was not expected and is two weeks after my cousin's wedding. The season of bridal showers and weddings are upon me and resulting to be a little stressful. I look forward to the parties in which we will celebrate and honor but man, these things take up a lot of time and stress.

We celebrated my cousin's bridal shower last month and this month we celebrate my sister. Next month are both weddings. I honestly feel like I can't move forward until I am done with these two events. In addition to these two showers and weddings, I have two graduations. I'm going to be very busy this June!😅

p.s This was the bridal shower cake for my cousin. We went low budget with this cake. My aunt bought two white cakes from Food 4 Less and put some fake succulents. Turned out cute! 

I thought I lost it

The other day google was going through some glitches or changes and I wasn't able to find my blog. I seriously thought I lost my blog. I started to panic. I googled "what happened to my blog". I was desperate. I was on the verge of tears. I had a hard time falling asleep. I was worried that I had lost my blog, the work I had put into it. The next day I found it. I was so relieved and then I realized why was I so worried about a blog that I was contemplating on deleting myself? It made me think and realize I still want to blog, I still want to take photographs and I still want to share my thoughts and feelings. I just need to find the time.  

Where Have I Been?

I am probably the worst amateur blogger ever. The last time I blogged was 9 months ago! I debated whether I should just delete my blog and move on or if I should just leave it up and when the time was right I would return to blogging. I'm still not sure what to do but I finally feel like writing so here I am! 

So where have I been? I've been preparing myself for the biggest life changing role I will probably ever experience, motherhood! After 9 years of marriage and nearly 3 years of trying to conceive, my husband and I are finally having a baby!! We are having a girl and I am due end of September.  We are beyond excited and the past 9 months have flown by for me, for my husband not so much. 

The 9 months were not as tough as I expected. I did have your typical morning sickness but in the evenings, which lasted up until 5 1/2 months. I suffered from major sinus congestion my entire pregnancy, really hoping it ends after birth. I got gestational diabetes and was basically put on a diet. other than those major symptoms the rest of my pregnancy has been pretty good. Oh wait, I do feel extremely hot. Okay other than that, those have been my pregnancy issues. I honestly expected my pregnancy to be a lot tougher, I thought I was going to be a big baby and suffer the entire 9 months, but I can honestly say I haven't. I don't even waddle when I walk! 

I am on maternity leave now and thinking I might do a little blogging now that I have some free time. I can't make any promises because I am also getting my home ready for our girl!

Amoeba Music

My husband recently bought me a record player. I've been wanting one for more than a year now. I wanted one to listen to music that reminds me of my dad. In March it will be three years since my dad passed away, and I think I've said this here before but ever since my dad passed away I haven't really been able to listen to the music he loved. My dad loved all types of music, but the music I associate more with him is anything from the 50's through 80's. That's a big window! So when my dad died I completely avoided this type of music at all cost. I was basically left with hip hop, rap and pop. Which I already did like but my focus was only and completely in those genres. After almost three years I think I might be ready to listen to his music. 

So, my husband bought me a record player! I was so excited but I honestly only had one record, a Michael Jackson record lol. On the last day of the year , my husband took me to Amoeba Records in Hollywood! Days before I caught a major cold and I think he felt bad for me so he took me out before a caught a case of cabin fever. 

 First things first, when we arrived we had to look for parking so we circled to the back and parked on a side street.  One of the things I love of going to Hollywood or downtown is the amazing street art you will find. 

As soon as I got off the car I knew the street art was not going to let me down. 

I love it all! 

Once inside I was like a kid in a candy store. Eyes wide open and didn't know where to start.  The store was filled with all sorts of cool people and I felt like I was not cool enough to be shopping there. Haha! Eventually I started looking through the aisles and was able to find some gems. I bought: 

Fleetwood Mac because I love them! 

Rod Stewart because it was on clearance for $1.99 and I'm a Rod Stewart fan. 

Tito Puente because it actually reminded me of being at my uncles house in Arizona. 

An Elvis Presley album, because duh he is the king! 

My dad owned albums and my next mission is to go to my moms house and search for them in the shed. I'm excited to grow my collection and nervous to listen to my dad's music. I know it will be hard but I've missed him so much that maybe his music will give me some comfort. 

Golden Hour

Riding Through

 Tallest building in DTLA

If you're familiar with my blog you've probably seen my other post that revolve around me taking photographs from a moving car or on my bike. Well this is another on of those post. During the first week of December I participated in another Ciclavia event. This time the route  was in Downtown Los Angeles specifically, Whilshire Blvd. This is my second Ciclavia event and honestly is becoming one of my favorite things to do in the city. Its a great opportunity to do something as a family or as a couple or even with friends. It's great because you get a chance to exercise, and sight see in your city.  It was a great opportunity to see buildings up close and admire the architecture of old and new buildings. It's amazing how through the years architecture design changes. I think I'm a fan of the older buildings. Don't get me wrong some of these new buildings are amazing.  

P.s. I haven't worked out since this day. I've been sick for the past week and half with no end in sight!

An Orange Story

While everyone is bringing you a new year, new me, resolution, and or retrospective recap of the year, I'm bringing you an orange post. Because lets face it, I'm not one to keep resolutions nor one to advise you on how to keep them. And while I do plan to make some changes, they are basic changes, you know the typical be more active/eat better/get organized. Hopefully one of those sticks!

Now, on to my orange post!

My neighbor has an orange tree. In the 7 1/2 years that I have lived in our home, their orange tree has finally given a crop that has overflown to our side. Previous years we would have one or two oranges fall over and by the time they hit the floor they would be rotted. I believe they're navel oranges, some have the obvious belly button look but others do not.   From the initial sign of their tree creeping over to our side, I've been keeping my eye on it and babying it, scaring away spiders and anything that would take over my oranges. Finally this month my oranges were ready to be plucked and eaten! I think the heavy rain we had last year played a key role in this years crop, because, oh my these are delicious! I've never been one to crave an orange until now. Don't get me wrong I like them, but the of juiciness and sweetness of these are on another level. Anyway, enough orange talk, lets move on to orange photographs! 

Below is a picture of the oranges that crept over to our side, these two photos were taken with my iphone.