Quarantine 2020

I have lost track of time. I don't  remember how long we have been living this new way of life. I was fine in the beginning. This week I am struggling. I can't focus. I want to be out and about. I want my old life. I miss my old life. I want to enjoy my daughter, freely. I don't want to live in fear. I don't want her to grow up living in fear. I know this will take time to go away and for us to go back to our old lives, or maybe we will never go back to our old lives. But I hope we do. I will continue to be patient and will continue to find the silver lining in this, because I always tend to rely on those silver linings. 

Changed Opinions

I was planning of writing a post about the struggles of motherhood, but I didn’t want to sound like a Debbie Downer since my last post was about mourning.  I was at my moms house the other day and she had these beautiful Trader Joe's flowers, which got me thinking of Spring! Oh my Spring is around the corner and I’m not sure I am ready to let go of winter. I have been craving a rainy, cloudy day and I don’t know why.  This is a first for me. I generally enjoy summer and sunny days. So, I am quite surprised. I’ve been noticing in the past year or so I have been changing my thoughts and feelings towards a lot of things. Another example, I have disliked eggs my entire life. I’ve tried to eat them because of their nutritional value, but I never could. However, recently I think I can tolerate eggs. It’s the strangest thing. I’m really confused with myself. What other things will I like that I disliked before or vice versa? Is this me maturing? 

An Orange Story

While everyone is bringing you a new year, new me, resolution, and or retrospective recap of the year, I'm bringing you an orange post. Because lets face it, I'm not one to keep resolutions nor one to advise you on how to keep them. And while I do plan to make some changes, they are basic changes, you know the typical be more active/eat better/get organized. Hopefully one of those sticks!

Now, on to my orange post!

My neighbor has an orange tree. In the 7 1/2 years that I have lived in our home, their orange tree has finally given a crop that has overflown to our side. Previous years we would have one or two oranges fall over and by the time they hit the floor they would be rotted. I believe they're navel oranges, some have the obvious belly button look but others do not.   From the initial sign of their tree creeping over to our side, I've been keeping my eye on it and babying it, scaring away spiders and anything that would take over my oranges. Finally this month my oranges were ready to be plucked and eaten! I think the heavy rain we had last year played a key role in this years crop, because, oh my these are delicious! I've never been one to crave an orange until now. Don't get me wrong I like them, but the of juiciness and sweetness of these are on another level. Anyway, enough orange talk, lets move on to orange photographs! 

Below is a picture of the oranges that crept over to our side, these two photos were taken with my iphone. 

How I Spent My Thanksgiving Break

I've been very busy lately and I have neglected my little blog. I spent about 90 hours of my life dedicated to something that will bring me nothing but the feeling of breaking up with friends. What have I been up to you might ask? Oh you know, binge watching a show on Netflix and getting fat.  I've been really busy binge watching Mad Men. Yep, a show that ended in 2015. Guys, why didn't I jump on the Mad Men band wagon when it was airing? I'm low key in love with Don Draper and Roger Sterling. Must now watching anything with them. 

For real though, my husband and I got caught up in the Mad Men world and forgot about everything else. Today on my last day of thanksgiving break, I realized I probably could have spent my 4 days off doing something more useful. I have no regrets though, I enjoyed every episode. It was interesting to see how the work place was in the  '50s & 60's and how women were treated in the workforce.  Aside from Don Draper I think my favorite character was Roger Sterling, he always had something funny and inappropriate to say. I enjoyed the costumes, story lines, and characters of this show.  While I'm still trying to digest the ending, I have an over all happy feeling with how the show ended. Would I have done something differently? perhaps, but that smile at the end made me think everything would be okay.  

What do I do now with the rest of my life?

Still Life?

 I follow an account on Instagram of a photographer who moved from New York to France, she enjoys taking still life photography of beautiful flowers, fruits and bugs she finds in her town. She shares the entire process of the photograph on her Instagram story. I enjoy her stories so much and I dream of living such a beautiful experience in my life.  

Feeling inspired by this account, I decided I would give still life photography a shot. I did some research on Pinterest, spotted some good props at Trader Joe's and scouted my moms house for the rest. I'm not 100% happy with the results, but I do like the tones I used. I liked the variety of fruits and vegetables I used.  I didn't have a rustic old looking back drop so I used the outside of my house as a backdrop, which I really really didn't like.  I also used a small table and realized it was too small. The glass container is from my father's collection. I don't know the contents because it has not been consumed since he passed away. 

I definitely need to work on my photography skills and will give still life photography a second chance. I need to be 100% satisfied, so stay tuned.  

Pretty Trash

"...beauty is in the eye of the beholder." -Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

Dreamers

Seems like every week something happens that disappoints the human spirit. Sometimes it seems like things can't get any worse and the unbelievable becomes a reality. This week was one of those weeks. This week 800,000 dreamers had their dreams crushed. This is such an unfortunate situation and I honestly can't imagine how these dreamers are feeling.  I imagine they feel fear. Fear for the uncertainty of their future in the country they know as their home. 

Dreamers, don't give up! 

Keep dreaming! 

800,000 voices are too loud to ignore. 

Tecate, Pueblo Magico

I promise this post is not about a hike or nature. There will be however some pictures of flowers and I should warn you, this post is picture heavy. 

I digress. 

Last weekend my sister, mom and some of my dads family took a 3 day trip to Tecate, Baja California. My dad was not born in Tecate but his grand parents and parents moved there when he was a baby and they raised  him there until his early 20s. If anyone ever asked where he was from, he would always say "Tecate!" My grandmother kept the home her parents built when they first arrived in Tecate, and till this day this house is still part of our family. It's our family vacation home. My dad and grandmother would love to spend any time they had in Tecate. 

The last time I was in Tecate, was about 10 years ago. I clearly remember the trip because it was so cold, I was willing to ditch my family and take a taxi back to LA. This was obviously before Uber. After 10 years, I finally returned! I wish my return was with my dad and grandma and this will always be one of the many regrets I live with. 

Anyways, we planned this trip probably two months ago and I've been excited ever since. The week leading up to this trip I started to realize this would be the first time I would go without my dad and how excited he would be about this trip if he was still alive. 

Okay, enough of the sad sappy stuff. Our trip started on Friday morning, after nearly three hours of driving we were almost there.  We exited the highway and entered a winding path into Tecate, in which you drive through small towns known as Jamul and Dulzura. 

Before we knew it we were 2 miles away from Tecate. 

Once we crossed the border and dropped off our bags at my grandma's house, we went straight for the tacos. 

Three to start. 

One more for good measure.

After we devoured the tacos, we went to the market to stock up on some goodies for the weekend. 

I bought a can of this sauce because of the packaging, but now that I read it, I think I should have bought more than one. I'll let you guys know how it is once I try it.

Did I mention my grandma's house is literally right in front of the border? That's the border patrol jeep at the top.

A puppy contemplating life. 

Once the sun was starting to slowly set, we walked down to the town. To our surprise, there was some sort of function happening. We are not exactly sure what the reason of the event was but we did conclude that it was some how related to Beauty and the Beast, there were Belles everywhere. As we walked the park, we came across a few musicians ready to play for us. 

Once night had fallen, we made our way back home. To our surprise, a street vendor was there to greet us. When we first laid eyes on him we weren't sure what he was selling nor what he was pushing. But judging by the fire coming out of his cart, we were very much interested! Once he stopped he opened up a drawer in his cart and showed us the goods. Sweet potato, pumpkin and bananas smoked and cooked. He gave us our pick of a combination of all or a bowl of just one type. Once decided he served it in a bowl and drizzled it with syrup and condensed milk. Oh my this was so delicious! I went with pumpkin and banana. 

I forgot to mention his cart made noise like a train, it was the coolest thing ever!

Okay, the next morning we got ready and went out for breakfast. I wish I would have taken photos of the breakfast because it was delicious. After breakfast we went to look for flower pots. The prices on the pots are so cheap we all went a little crazy. I spent $14 and bought 5. We filled up two cars of pots and headed back to the house. 

Grapes from my grandmothers house. 

Afternoon snack? Yes please. Raspados this time. 

On Sunday morning, we woke up at 5:30 a.m. and crossed the border with our cars. We parked in a nearby parking lot and walked back into Tecate. We did this to save time. You see, if you try to cross the border later in the day you will spend at least 2 hours waiting in line. Because my grandmothers house is so near, we were able to just walk back. The morning walk felt so refreshing.  The sun was slowly rising and there was a cool breeze in the air. The streets were empty and it felt like the entire town was asleep except for us. 

Before our departure we went back down to the town and ate fish tacos. These are my mothers tacos. We walked the town again in search of Mexican style dress my mom wanted which lead us near the park once again. 

With our bellies full of tacos and ice cream, and our bags filled with chips and tortillas we walked back once again to grandmas house. We packed up everything that was not initially packed in the cars and walked back to the border. We crossed the border with ease and made our way back home.  

It was a super hot weekend that revolved around family and food. We stayed up talking till midnight on the porch escaping the heat of the house. We ate an ice cream every day that we were there. We ate tacos everyday that we were there. We remembered our lost ones. We laughed about memories. I'm excited for more trips like this and keeping the memory of our loved ones alive. 

I honestly can't complain of this perfect mini getaway... Wait a minute I forgot one tiny fact! Mosquitoes!! OMG if you ever find yourself in Tecate take a heavy duty bug repellent. My legs were mauled by mosquitoes. Okay maybe that's an exaggeration but I had so many bites, I'm just  now slowly recovering. I may not be able to wear shorts for the remainder of the summer.