Amoeba Music

My husband recently bought me a record player. I've been wanting one for more than a year now. I wanted one to listen to music that reminds me of my dad. In March it will be three years since my dad passed away, and I think I've said this here before but ever since my dad passed away I haven't really been able to listen to the music he loved. My dad loved all types of music, but the music I associate more with him is anything from the 50's through 80's. That's a big window! So when my dad died I completely avoided this type of music at all cost. I was basically left with hip hop, rap and pop. Which I already did like but my focus was only and completely in those genres. After almost three years I think I might be ready to listen to his music. 

So, my husband bought me a record player! I was so excited but I honestly only had one record, a Michael Jackson record lol. On the last day of the year , my husband took me to Amoeba Records in Hollywood! Days before I caught a major cold and I think he felt bad for me so he took me out before a caught a case of cabin fever. 

 First things first, when we arrived we had to look for parking so we circled to the back and parked on a side street.  One of the things I love of going to Hollywood or downtown is the amazing street art you will find. 

As soon as I got off the car I knew the street art was not going to let me down. 

I love it all! 

Once inside I was like a kid in a candy store. Eyes wide open and didn't know where to start.  The store was filled with all sorts of cool people and I felt like I was not cool enough to be shopping there. Haha! Eventually I started looking through the aisles and was able to find some gems. I bought: 

Fleetwood Mac because I love them! 

Rod Stewart because it was on clearance for $1.99 and I'm a Rod Stewart fan. 

Tito Puente because it actually reminded me of being at my uncles house in Arizona. 

An Elvis Presley album, because duh he is the king! 

My dad owned albums and my next mission is to go to my moms house and search for them in the shed. I'm excited to grow my collection and nervous to listen to my dad's music. I know it will be hard but I've missed him so much that maybe his music will give me some comfort. 

A Memory

It's funny how you can be minding your business living life and something small can trigger a memory. A memory that can bring joy yet sadness at the same time. It's not that you ever stop thinking of a loved one that is no longer here but you learn to live without them. You learn to cope and live life with a giant hole in your heart. So when something reminds you of the loved one and the loss you feel, its hard to hold it together. You slowly speak with a ball of emotions at your throat while holding back the tears. You learn to do this, but will it ever end? I doubt it. I mean, as long as you are walking around with a giant hole in your heart that will never be complete the memories will always be bitter sweet. 

My dad use to like orange marmalade. He would tell us that his grandmother would heat up a flour tortilla and add a thin layer of mayonnaise and orange marmalade. We would all say yuck, and he would say we had to try it. I never did. 

Change

When the year started I told myself I was not doing a new years resolution, I was going to be selfish and do one thing for myself every month. Its May now and I only did this 2 times. Lately I feel like I've done the opposite. I feel so overwhelmingly busy that I feel like I have no time for myself not even for my own personal grooming and I'm tired of it. I have been thinking of how tired I am and wondering how did things get to this point? I came to a realization. I got so caught up with working hard and staying busy to distract myself of the loss of my dad that I lost myself.  I sort of gave up on myself. I guess I felt this at the end of the year and that's why I felt like I had to at least do one thing for myself but still haven't mastered this plan of mine.  

The loss of my grandma helped me realize this. When she died, once again I felt like I had missed out a lot. I stopped frequent visits to avoid feeling sad and partially because I was really busy and didn't make time for her. I'm tired of it! I'm tired of working, I'm tired of being responsible for others, I'm tired of dealing with people, I'm tired of WORK!  I feel like I need change, I feel like I need a mental break. I want to wake up and exercise, go on a hike, eat a breakfast at my own pace and read  a newspaper. I want to take time to do my makeup. I want to learn how to sew. I want to spend an entire day with my mom. I want to do something fun with my sister. I want to go on a vacation with my husband. I want to do things that bring me joy. But how do I do it?

Another Loss

Can you believe May is here??? April was supposed to be a month of relief and relaxation but it was nothing but that.  Work was so busy and stressful, which lead to some extreme teeth grinding at night, which lead to a broken tooth! Wait it doesn't end there! Dealing with the major tooth ache I had to rush to the hospital for something unexpected. Something unexpected yet expected at the same time. My father's mother, my grandmother had suffered a massive stroke. This was not the first stroke she had suffered but there was no coming back from this one. 

My grandmother was a single mother of eight. She loved all her children and always made family unity a her main goal.  My father was very close to his mother and when my dad was alive they would talk on the phone every single day,  multiple times a day! Because of their close relationship my grandmother was a big part of our lives. 

My grandmother was very funny and knew how to tell a great joke, something she shared with my dad. After my dad died she had a stroke and was not really herself anymore. Losing her first son made her fall into a depression and this did not help her recovery. When all this happened we really made an effort to visit her on a weekly basis but with time we slowly stopped. My visits stopped mainly because every visit made me feel very sad.  It was very selfish of me but I think during that first year I had to be a little selfish to make it through the days, weeks and months.  In retrospect, I regret it. 

I can't turn back the hands of time and all I can do is move forward. I live with so many regrets and I will probably never be able to let go of them. All the pretty memories I have with my loved ones help me get through the days, weeks, months and years. 

Night on Broadway

So this year I decided to skip the whole New Years Resolution's drama, instead I decided to do one thing a month that was something that I truly wanted to do for myself. Whether its something fun, pampering or personal but its something selfish for myself. The reason for this is because sometimes we get so caught up with our daily lives that before you know it the month has gone by and you didn't do anything for yourself and your left with "one day I will...". So I guess you can say 2017 is a going to be a very selfish year for me. Now don't get me wrong, these 12 things I plan to do I don't necessarily plan to do them all by myself, I will definitely enjoy the company of others. These 12 things are just things that I'm going to make sure I carve time to do for myself. 

Okay, so now that I've explained my 12 things theory lets jump into my first thing I did for myself for the month of January. It was something I've wanted to do for the past 2 years and it involves food, downtown, lights, carnival rides, and much more. Downtown Los Angeles has created a festival that takes you back to Broadway, a street that holds historic theaters and businesses that have amazing architecture and history. The festival is for all ages and all cultures. The entertainment ranges from chess boxing to Mariachi performers. So this year my husband and I jumped on the metro and headed downtown. Our first glimpse of this festival was boxing.

 I don't know if these are professional boxers, but it was fun to watch. 

Oh you know, just some Lucha Libre fighters having a conversation. I wonder what they were talking about. 🤔

The first theater we entered was The Million Dollar Theater. It was so nice to walk into this theater and listen to Mariachi music. The singer had an amazing voice and the mariachi performed flawlessly. It was amazing to see that people of all cultures were enjoying the performance. I wish I would've had better pictures of the performance to share with you guys but I was enjoying the show and honestly didn't have the opportunity to snap better pictures.  

We decided to eat dinner at the festival, in search of what to eat we decided to go into Grand Central Market just to take a looksey of possible food options. Of course we found lots of options but we decided to keep walking and circle back if nothing on broadway was enticing. As we kept going we saw so many interesting people and acts. 

After walking a few blocks we decided a cheeseburger was the way to go. Oh my GOD you guys, this burger was so good.

When my dad was still alive, we would go to downtown every so often and he would like to drive down Broadway and tell us how when he first came to the United States he would shop on this street, and watch acts at these amazing theaters. He would talk about how clean and new it all looked, and how he was in awe of this amazing city. So for me to walk down these streets and finally walk into these theaters was very emotional. I held it together and thought of him along the way. 😢 Lets keep going because I didn't want this to be a sad post. 😉

Some of the artwork that was on display that night. 

As the night ended we made our way to the metro station and jumped on the subway.